9 Steps to Build Wealth and Trust as a Couple
If you have two incomes and plan to build a life together, I strongly advise you to merge your finances, especially if you're married. Marriage also provides legal protections that help keep things clear if the relationship ends. If you're not married, just be very cautious. Without legal protections, merging finances can expose both people to risk. Set clear agreements and consider keeping some accounts separate until legal protections are in place.
Here’s how to manage money as a committed couple working toward long-term wealth:
1. Combine income into one place
Redirect all income into a joint checking account. This includes:
Paychecks / direct deposits
Any income from side gigs or selling items (e.g. Craigslist, Facebook Marketplace)
Request a debit card for both partners on the account.
2. Maintain some financial independence (optional)
Open two personal checking accounts, one for each partner.
Both partners should have access to each other’s accounts, even if you use them separately.
Request a debit card for each personal account.
3. Save money first
Learning to keep money consistently is foundational to wealth-building. This is the first step after merging income.
If you have little or no savings right now, decide to keep a percentage of your income as soon as you’re paid (e.g., 10%). Agree on a savings rate (%) for every dollar earned (e.g., 10% of each paycheck).
Transfer that savings into a shared savings account, preferably one that earns interest like a money market account.
Determine how long it would take to save up $1,000 doing this consistently. Target your first savings goal to $1,000 and increase the percentage to achieve it faster.
4. Control spending together
Learning to control your expenditures (using money that leaves your combined checking account) is just as foundational as saving. This is the second step after merging income.
Create a joint budget using the remaining income after saving (e.g., 90%).
If you’re keeping personal spending accounts, include those amounts in the budget (e.g., $200 for one spouse, $200 for the other).
Review expenses together, find leaks, and cut unnecessary expenses (e.g., unused subscriptions, overlapping services).
4b. Pay off consumer debt fast, together
Consumer debt, like credit cards, student loans, car loans, medical debt, personal loans, and HELOCs, is detrimental to wealth building. Get laser-focused on completing this step with everything you can, so you can move to the next step as fast as possible.
Treat all debt as joint debt, no matter whose name’s on it.
Avoid passive strategies like consolidation that stretch payments out.
Choose an aggressive payoff method:
Debt Snowball (best for behavior and momentum; doesn’t save money)
List debts by smallest balance to largest.
Pay minimums on all but the smallest.
Throw all extra cash at the smallest until it’s gone.
Roll that amount into the next smallest, and repeat.
Debt Avalanche (best for saving money; harder to execute)
List debts by highest interest rate to lowest.
Pay minimums on all but the highest-rate debt.
Throw all extra cash at that one until it’s gone.
Roll that amount into the next highest-rate debt, and continue.
Pause all investments, including retirement contributions, to unlock extra income and apply it to your debt.
Set a debt-free target date and post your payoff progress somewhere in the house to show progress.
Say no to new consumer debt, period, moving forward.
5. Protect what you’ve built
Now that you’ve freed up your income, build an emergency cash fund with at least 6 months of expenses in an account that yields interest.
Avoid risky money moves like crypto or day trading until you have at least a $1,000,000 net worth and the amount to risk is relatively small (e.g., $500). Agree on this together.
Review your insurance coverage, such as term life, health, home, and auto, and fill in the gaps.
For big financial decisions, get advice from a trusted financial coach or fee-only advisor.
Give yourself time to think before committing (e.g., days for reasonably small choices, months for major ones).
6. Multiply your savings as a team
List existing retirement, brokerage, and savings accounts.
Add both names to each account.
Choose a set amount or percentage to invest regularly.
Automate your investments into simple, low-cost index funds.
Stay consistent, even when growth feels slow.
7. Own and pay off your home together
If you’re buying a home, go through every step together with caution and seek advice from people you trust with this experience - financing, touring, negotiating, and closing.
Save for the down payment from your shared budget.
If you already own, put both names on the mortgage and deed.
Create a shared plan to pay off the mortgage as fast as reasonably possible.
8. Secure your future together
Add each other on retirement accounts, pensions, savings, and emergency funds.
Get term life insurance (e.g., 10x your income for 20 years).
Create wills to lay out how you want to care for each other and others.
9. Support each other’s earning potential
Once you're stable, encourage each other to explore side businesses, creative hobbies, or new income streams.
Encourage further education as long as it can be paid for in cash.
Act as accountability partners for dreams that build wealth.
If you’re intentional with these steps, it’ll create trust in your relationship, reduce money worries, and enable a secure financial future for you both. You’ll communicate better and start building real wealth.
Check out these 7 Steps to Build Wealth On Your Own Income.
Reach out if any questions come up and I’ll see how I can help.
justin@wealthandwisdomcoaching.com
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